Ten Points to Gryffindor!
by LinLupin-LiaLockhart
Summary: An untimely death, causes a Hogwart's student to be adopted by Snape and his new spouse. (SSHP slash) please readreview!
1. Author's Note: Read it

Author's Note  
  
  
  
This is just an author's note; obviously...it's here to make a few points.  
  
  
1. This story is rated R for sexual situations/scenes, language, and anything else that might fall under the category.  
  
2. This story is definitely not appropriate for young children.  
  
3. This story is supposed to be humorous...don't take it seriously...  
  
4. Oh, and its slash...  
  
  
Other than that...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
What are you waiting for? Read it! 


	2. Prologue: You're going soft, Professor!

Disclaimer: We do not own anything you recognize from the Harry Potter books.   
  
Neville's thoughts and journal entries = ( )   
  
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"Oh Professor!" He sensually growled.  
  
"Harr- Oh...oh my...GOOD GOD BOY!"  
  
Neville rolled his eyes, shrugged and shuddered. "God, not again." He mumbled,   
glancing at the pounding coming through the wall. He sighed, picked up his worn   
journal, and began to scribble his thoughts.  
  
(You know I should be used to this by now. I've been here for almost a month. I   
can get used to a lot of things. I mean, in general, I'm an easy-going guy, but   
I'm never going to get used to that. Who would have thunk I would end up here?   
  
Hmmm...It was maybe two months ago when my grandmother passed away. I remember   
telling my parents. Not that they could understand, their blank stares showed   
nothing. No concern, no grief. You'd think I'd be used to them,   
but...those...looks haunted me all the way to the orphanage.   
  
The putrid smell and dirty beds were...well, if I believed in a hell that place   
would be it. It was worse than being in Potions class, if that's possible...hmm.   
I can't tell you how ecstatic I was when Dumbledore, personally, came to the   
orphanage to tell me there was a newly wedded couple willing to adopt me.   
  
You know Dumbledore, I wonder about his sanity, sometimes...especially, that   
day. He had that strange twinkle in his eyes and he kept caressing my shoulder.   
The next day I was waiting, apprehensively, in the adoption office with   
Dumbledore.   
  
I remember when he smiled and said, "Here, you are Neville. Your new family!"   
The door opened and there stood Harry arm in arm with a tall, gangly,   
greasy-haired man. I think I passed out when Professor Snape tried to hug me.   
When I came to, I was in a room that would become known as my bedroom. Harry   
Potter and Professor Snape were, now, my new fathers.)  
  
He sighed again, and gently closed his journal. He quietly put on his   
nightclothes and slid in to bed. He tried to sleep through the muffled moaning,   
but it was use. He grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his head. His last   
thought before he fell asleep was, (Never in a million years will I get used to   
that!)  
  
"Oh God, what potion did you use for that?!"  
  
"Ten points to Gryffindor, Potter."  
  
"You're going soft, Professor."  
  
"Not just yet"  
  
  
  
TBC  
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Please review...Thanks! 


	3. Kiss the Cook

Disclaimer: Don't sue, because, obviously, we don't own Harry, Snape, or Neville.  
  
Rating: This rating is R. We are very Sirius about it. (Sirius ha ha ha...oh, never mind.)   
  
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Neville woke up with a start. Sunlight was slowly streaming into his window. He pulled his left arm to his face and rubbed his blurry eyes. Yawning loudly, he slid out of bed. He sauntered over to his mahogany desk chair and grabbed his folded corduroys and green sweater.   
  
After getting fully clothed, Neville went into the hall. The smell of sizzling bacon and frying eggs drifted into his nose. He inhaled the smell deeply and followed the sent into the kitchen. "Wow, that smells great, Gram-" Neville stopped as he saw Professor Snape, pot in hand, standing over the burner. (No, not Snape, Father) thought Neville. He should start calling him that even in his mind.  
  
Neville watched as Snape...er, Father scraped the bacon onto a plate.   
  
Snape brushed away a lock of onyx hair that had fallen in front of his gaunt face. The rest was tied back in a loose ponytail. It looked as though it was damp.  
  
(Well,) mused Neville, (it appears the man does wash his hair. Unless this was because Harry insisted on it.)  
  
Suddenly, someone came thundering down the stairs.   
  
(Speak of the devil.) Neville looked at Harry. His black hair was disheveled and looking more wild than usual. He was panting heavily from running.   
  
(Looks like he had a rough night.) thought Neville. Then, he groaned inwardly. The sounds of pounding and muffled moaning filled his head. (Eh, he had had a rough night.) Neville mentally smacked himself. He wanted to forget what he had heard the previous night.  
  
Neville was startled to see that Harry was shirtless and wearing a very loose pair of sweats.  
  
"Hi son." Harry spied Snape. He threw out his chest and swaggered over to his husband. "Hey lover," Harry slurred and batted his eyelashes.  
  
Snape turned to Harry with a genuine smile.   
  
But that didn't rattle Neville as much as the apron his 'father' was wearing. It was outlined with pink lace and red hearts. Across the fabric wear the words "Kiss the Cook".  
  
Harry glanced down at the apron. "Don't mind if I do." He chuckled and pressed his mouth against Snape's.  
  
Neville cringed and turned. He sat down and let his head fall onto the table.  
  
After ten minutes of slurping and sucking noises, Neville got fed up. Not only was he seriously disturbed by what was going on behind him. Also, he was incredibly hungry. He wanted bacon.   
  
Neville decided that the only way he was ever going to get to eat, was to distract his...he shivered, fathers. Neville coughed deliberately. Nothing happened.  
  
He coughed again more dramatically. Still nothing.  
  
"Cough, Cough...COUGH!" It was to no avail. Neville began to hack as loudly and obnoxiously as he could. He appeared, to the normal eye, to be having some horrible fit.   
  
When he stopped to catch his breath, he could still hear the sloppy smacking. (Don't they ever stop.) Neville took a deep long breath and started screaming. "COUGH, COUGH, COUGH...COUGH!!" He grabbed the plate in front of him and began slamming it up and down on the table.  
  
"Is everything alright, son?" Harry looked concerned.  
  
(No, you were just sucking face with Professor Snape.) Neville meekly set down his plate. "Yes, I'm fine...just a bit of a cough."  
  
Neville felt a cold hand on his shoulder. His eyes slowly rolled over to glance at the slender fingers. (God, he's touching me again.)  
  
"If there is something bothering you, son, just tell us." Snape said gently.  
  
(Well, the fact you and Harry are my fathers and your hand is on my shoulder, bother me. Other than that...) "Can we just eat?"  
  
"Yes let's Severus."  
  
Snape and Harry sat down on either side of Neville and began to dish, now cold eggs and bacon, onto their plates.   
  
Neville wolfed down all his food.  
  
After seven pieces of bacon, he was getting the salty residue one gets around their lips. He swallowed. He needed something to drink. He noticed the pitcher orange juice to the left of the Harry. Neville turned to Harry. "Could you pass the juice?"  
  
Harry smiled toothily. "Of course, son." He handed Neville the pitcher.  
  
"Thanks, Harry." Mumbled Neville.   
  
Suddenly, the whole room grew very quiet. (Uh, oh.) Neville swallowed at the impending doom.  
  
Harry and Snape exchanged a look. Harry took a deep breath.  
  
Neville closed his eyes. (Here it comes.)  
  
"Neville," Harry began, "We've discussed this now...how many times, Severus?"  
  
"Eleven, I believe...sweetheart."  
  
Neville rolled his eyes.  
  
Harry sighed, exasperated, "Eleven...it's not a difficult concept. Severus and I are married and we adopted you...so you should refer to by the title of 'father' or 'dad'."  
  
"But you're the same age as me Harry."  
  
Harry's face paled considerably, "I am now your father, and you will refer to me as thus! End of discussion!" With that, he picked up his plate and stalked off.   
  
Snape followed behind, leaving Neville alone at the table.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
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Thanks to Erin, Sev, Harry Snape, The Goddess Artemis, Tidmag, Wrenna, and Solo_wyld for the great reviews.


	4. You've got Mail

Stop!!!  
  
Bet you thought we weren't Sirius. Think again...this is one of those sexual situations/scenes...you're warned.  
  
This section is only...repeat, only for ADULTS!!   
  
So with that said...enjoy.  
  
Oh, another note, we just seem to be full of them today...if this was too descriptive...tell us...we're not entirely sure what R rating allows us to do.   
  
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"You know I really care for the boy and I know it's hard for him, but I just wish he would try..." Harry turned the nozzle of the shower and, his voice, was soon drowned out by the running water. Harry stepped out of the bathroom and leaned casually against the doorframe.  
  
Severus strolled slowly towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. "Give him time."  
  
"I'm a rather impatient man." Harry mumbled as he ran his fingers through Snape's hair.  
  
"Come impatient one, the shower beckons."  
  
Harry smiled, slyly, and led his lover into the steamy room.  
  
Steam billowed around them, as Snape unbuttoned his robes and let them slither down his back and chest, pooling at his feet.   
  
Harry gasped as he saw Snape's silver boxers, witch were covered with tiny green serpents, pulled tightly over his throbbing member.  
  
Harry stepped forward and placed his calloused hand on Severus' well-defined chest. He, then, proceeded to lick and nibble at his mate's neck leaving half moon shaped bruises.   
  
Snape moaned and pressed his now almost painful erection against Harry's navel. Potter slowly dragged his tongue across his spouses Adams apple and circled his stiff nipple.  
  
Snape whined and pulled at Harry's trousers as he felt the pressure of teeth rake across his nub.   
  
When Harry reached his lovers navel, he began to rhythmically dip his tongue in and out.  
  
Soon Severus could take Harry's torture no longer. He kneeled so that their eyes met.  
  
Harry noted the desperation in the other mans eyes. Then he quickly removed his sweats and lay submissively on the damp tile floor.  
  
Snape took a moment to collect his thoughts as he retrieved a vile of lubricant. He slid out of his constricting shorts. Taking some lubricant in his hand, he eased a slender finger into his lovers opening.  
  
Harry squirmed under Snape's firm yet gentle touch.   
  
Severus soon inserted a second finger. He began to scissor his fingers. Harry groaned as Snape brushed against his prostate. Sensing Harry's readiness, he removed his fingers. Using every once of self-control he slowly pushed his cock into his lover.  
  
Harry pushed back against Snape.   
  
Severus, then, began to thrust with increasing speed. He, then, took Harry's erection in his hand and started to pump. Harry bucked his hips and cried out his lover's name. Severus withdrew almost completely then plunged back in, as the two came in unison.   
  
Panting Severus rolled off Harry. He pulled the younger man into his strong arms and kissed all of his flushed features.  
  
Harry smiled blissfully and whispered, "Now let me do something for you." Taking his lover in his arms, Harry pulled Severus to his feet and pushed him against the wall.   
  
Snape shivered as he felt a chill run up his spine.  
  
Obviously, wasting no time, Harry ran his hands quickly down the other man's front, stopping at the inner thighs. He dragged his tongue sensually over the pale flesh, causing Snape to become aroused once again, Harry gasped as he stared at his husbands cock. It wasn't as if it was the first time he was seeing it. It was, just, he was always startled by the size of the other man. "It's so big." Harry breathed. His breath caused air to blow against his partner.  
  
Snape mumbled incoherently.   
Harry smiled slightly, and grasped the base of the arousal in his left hand and slowly began to lick around the head. He brushed his tongue back and fourth, tasting the pre-cum.  
  
Harry, then, carefully pulled some of Snape's member into his mouth and began to gently suck. Severus ground as Harry's left hand tightened its grip. He looked down and saw that Harry had placed his free hand on his own, equally hard, arousal.  
  
The younger man ran his hand back and forth. Snape couldn't help but get more aroused by watching his husband masturbating.  
  
Harry bit down and dragged his teeth across his lover's erection. Startled by the elated sensation, Severus pushed the rest of himself into Harry.  
  
Harry moaned and the sensation reverberated up his lovers cock.   
  
Severus gasped and climaxed. The cum flooded Harry's mouth and he climaxed as well.  
  
"Harr...Ah, Dad, the mails here. We got our letters." Neville yelled from the hall.   
  
Harry stood up and kissed Snape gently on the lips. He then strolled out to see Neville.  
  
Neville looked up to see a nude Harry, who stopped to wipe his mouth. (Please, let that be a milk mustache.)  
  
"Oh, great...we were going to Diagon Alley today anyway, to meet up with Ron and Hermione."   
  
Neville was staring at the ceiling trying to avoid looking at Harry's jewels.  
  
Suddenly, Snape came up behind Harry. He had a rather small hand towel wrapped around his waist.   
  
(Please, God, don't let that fall down.)  
  
"We'll go around noon, right Snowball." Snape unwrapped his towel and smacked it against his lovers toned arse.  
  
Neville fell to the floor with a thud.  
  
"Oh dear, he passed out again."  
  
  
TBC  
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Thanks for reviews from HPluver, Sarah, Angua, Deity, Cat Samwise, me3gogi, besnaped, Prophetess Of Hearts, cemre, Teigra, Jukesie, Sebie, arcee, steph, sweetgirl, wolf, and Rupert J.  
  
Remember, when in doubt...review. 


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